It's finally winter break! I'm loaded with homework/projects but I get to see my best friend in less than a week and my excitement is unfathomable. here's the music that has gotten me through the past few weeks:
As Luck Would Have It//Tom Rosenthal
"As luck would have it I'm on the planet, and so it seems are you"
Whale//Yellow Ostrich
"We will go far into the blue"
Chinese Translation//M.Ward
"if life is really as short as they say"
Where Do You Run To//The Vivian Girls
"It's alright, just leave the light on"
enjoy yourself, take a day off, and look at what's around you
today it rained all day and my whole town has been enveloped in a very twin peaks fog. normally I find comfort in this atmosphere, but today I just feel crushed by it. Fog isn't light, it's heavy. it swarms and consumes. it hides things and makes the path not as clear.
I'm going to college, that I know. But I want to go to a rigorous and challenging one, with people of the same mindset as me. while they're only one part of the application, having test scores on the lower end of the spectrum that my most loved schools accept scares me. college is scary, there's no certainties, and it's very much a lottery. most of my friends are seniors, and so all this talk about applications is rampant.
I know I'm going to college, but is it bad to want something more than that?
I watched this mini-documentary about the changing climate, and I'm not much of a nature hippie, but it made me cry. A few weeks ago I watched this documentary recommended by my chem teacher and I felt a weight on my chest. And I don't think I really figured out why I had that weight until yesterday: I don't want to spend my life in an office. for a while I think I was hell bent on this idea that I would work in international relations, because I've taken some related classes and I'm good at it, but an old friend reminded the other day: you shouldn't do stuff just because you're good at it, you should do it because you want to. I suddenly started researching completely different degrees than I had in the past, more science oriented ones, and I felt excited about college again.
deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life is hard, and I'm just coming to accept that.
sorry for this throw up of thought and negativity.
Life has been busy, and once more I list for reference.
Music
One Summer Night - Ariel Pink // the weather here right now makes me think summer is forever 1992 - Rejjie Snow // Slow and hazy rap for foggy mornings Ghost Town - First Aid Kit // music to wake up to and feel fulfilled This Year - The Mountain Goats // sheds light during even the most stressful times Tangerine - Led Zeppelin // growing up my parents would always play classic rock, and this song seemed to be a favorite Trains and Boats and Planes - Dionne Warwick // reminds me that while I'm stuck in the moment (love u jb), I'm still going places
Albums: Pure Heroine - Lorde and Blue Neighborhood - Troye Sivan
Quotes
"be in charge of your own light switch"
"There's no one smarter or more capable than you, there's only people who have studied more than you" - Terry Crews
"Scranton is the Paris of Northeastern Pennsylvania" - Michael Scott on The Office
"If you think about it, Trump is just political performance art" - my friend
TV Shows
MASTERS OF NONE. JUST LOVE YOURSELF AND WATCH IT. I came home from the SATs and watched the whole series (thirteen 30min episodes) in one go and it was the best decision ever. Everything from the cinematography to the script is spot on and my love for Aziz has never been greater. Also the soundtrack is perfect.
Kylie Jenner for Interview - "And I don't know, I like hiking. I used to do a lot of hiking when I
wasn't as busy. I had a lot of anxiety when I was younger, so I would
just run to this hill path in the back of my mom's house and listen to
Jack Johnson. I would listen to Jack Johnson and stare at the sky until
my anxiety went away."
Oh look I'm swamped in homework but I'm writing on here instead! I love responsibility.
Here, once again, is another list-y post where I talk about random stuff I'm liking. It's mostly for future reference for me, but I thought I'd share anyway.
bell hooks and Laverne Cox had a discussion on race and feminism and the white supremist capitalist patriarchy (bell's favorite), and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Reading and listening to bell hooks (I'm working on "belonging: a culture of place" right now) always leaves me feel more aware of my white privilege and how that affects every. single. aspect. of. my. life., which is helping me to be informed on race dynamics and how to do my part in today's society. (I'm looking forward to this talk with Gloria Steinem (!!) and bell as well)
In middle school I had an Israeli friend and her mom would make the best shakshuka, and I've finally attempted at making it on my own with this recipe. I've eaten it as snacks, breakfasts, and dinners wayyy too many times over the past week.
I went on an adventure to the local art museum the other day and saw rooms and rooms of art from the Wyeth family, but my favorite piece of them all was this new piece (like, this year new) from Jamie Wyeth. It's a screen door connected to a painting of his, and I couldn't stop looking at it.
I watched a whole season of Friday Night Lights this past week, and then read the synopsis' for the rest of the seasons. I started watching after going to my schools first football game of the season with the most reassuring friend group and feeling excited as we won by a landslide.
Normally, I'm not the biggest fan of quotes, but there are a few that have really stuck out to me lately:
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“Tonight I love you in a way that you have not
known in me: I am neither worn down by travels nor wrapped up in the
desire for your presence. I am mastering my love for you and turning it
inwards as a constituent element of myself. This happens much more often
than I admit to you, but seldom when I’m writing to you. Try to
understand me: I love you while paying attention to external things. At
Toulouse I simply loved you. Tonight I love you on a spring evening. I
love you with the window open. You are mine, and things are mine, and my
love alters the things around me and the things around me alter my
love.” - Jean Paul Sartre in a letter to Simone de Beauvoir
The bolded and underlined parts are all me - those are the sections that stuck with me.
I remember how around a year ago I walked from my apartment all the way to the cemetery where Sartre and Beauvoir are buried. I remember getting lost along the way and asking the most content old women how to get there, and how she smiled when I told her about how I was interested in the architecture. When I walked through the gates, I saw their tombstones right next to each other, covered in lipstick kisses, and for some reason it made my heart really heavy.
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“To harbor spiteful feelings against ordinary people for not being heroes is possible only for narrow-minded or embittered man.”- Chekhov
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This tweet:
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“You shrunk and bottled in a glass jar, you’re a portable saint. Knowing you is like knowing Jesus. There are billions of us and only one of you so I don’t expect much from you personally. There are no answers to my life. But I’m touched by you and fulfilled just by believing.” - Chris Kraus, I Love Dick
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And finally, my favorite, from The Favorite:
"i feel laughter in my heart... no wait that's just lasagna" Chloe aka @suburbandog on twitter
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I went to the diner at 1am yesterday with someone who made conversation easy and laughed at my stories, and everything was a blurry dreamy haze. She's one of those people that have helped to remind me what friendship is meant to feel like.
I'm falling in love with Girlpool and Simon & Garfunkel and King Krule and the Twin Peaks instrumental soundtrack all over again.
A lot has been happening lately, so I thought I'd list it all off.
TV/Movies/Podcasts:
It's no secret that Gilmore Girls is my favorite show, and so when I found Gilmore Guys, a podcast where two guys go through every episode of Gilmore Girls and discuss it, I couldn't even comprehend my joy.
I've been getting back in to This American Life and once again I realize how stupid I was to have ever stopped listening ??
Comet is a drama/romance movie that bounces around the timeline of a couple's relationship. The filters and film technique was clearly trying to convince the viewer it was indie, which normally I would find to be a little much, but I couldn't stop watching it. (check it out on Netflix)
Music:
My best friend and I were talking about end-of-the-summer music (to preface this, a landmark event in our friendship was a To Kill a King concert where they played "Choices" which has the depressing "this is how the summer ends" line), and she mentioned Slow Down by Twiceyoung. I had never heard of them before, but their album (including Slow Down) is up for free download on Bandcamp which always excites me.
Unashamedly, Jolene by Dolly Parton is one of my favorite songs ever. I sing it to pump myself up (even though its about heartbreak??) and I love when people cover or play around with its sound, and lately I've fallen in love with the Kygo remix of the song.
I wrote a review of Dave Monks first release as a solo artist, All Signs Point to Yes, for Vandala Magazine's September issue. I'm still learning how to write an actual review so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ , I'll figure it out eventually.
I'd love to put Frank Oceans new album here because no doubt I will love it, but he hasn't released it yet - WHATS UP WITH THAT FRANK U SAID JULY. Over the past 22 days I've complained to everyone I know about it, and I really just need to get over it ("there's a whole ocean of franks out there" - my cousin in attempts to console me).
Hippie Sabotage has also been hitting on the summer, cheesy "free spirit"/Youth Lagoon vibe I've been after lately.
Other:
SUBMIT TO FUNNY WOMEN ZINE - it's a zine my amazingly talented and creative friend Chloe is starting about women in comedy - check out the site or email her at funnywomenzine@gmail.com to find out more! I'll definitely be posting updates as she gets closer to the publication of the first issue!
I got my drivers license! I have a car now too, so I'm an unstoppable concert-going teen.
I'm visiting my grandparents in Florida, and for the billionth time I'm falling into embarassing appreciation of the Florida Gothic post.
This past week has been up and down - some days I feel super accomplished, and others I feel like a lifeless slug that just lies around and watches Buzzfeed videos, fawning over Eugene, for hours. As I've been preparing for the return of school, I find myself scared and attempting to scramble to get ahead on random studying (SATs) while I can, yet I can't find the motivation to actually do so.
I read something my friend Chloe wrote recently, and she mentioned a favorite quote of mine from Amy Poehler: "Great people do things before they are ready. They do things before they know they can do it.”, and it strangely gave me confidence. I wrote it on a notecard and slipped it into my backpack, because sometimes you need those reminders of how great you and the choices you made are.
I go to the beach to visit my grandparents next week and I'm excited to be in their sunshine again.
I've been listening to this and this and enjoying the peacefulness of the nature around my house.
Sitting down and writing has seemed intimidating and hard recently. The impending doom of the return of high school in a month also just seems so overwhelming to me right now. What worries me sometimes is that I'm perfectly content lying in bed all day/summer and getting up only for food breaks (which have been vegan this week because 1. I was really motivated by Oprah's episode on veganism and 2. have you seen Freelee or Essena????).
This week I somehow stumbled upon this rapper Allday, and I've been enjoying his latest release "Soft Grunge Love Rap". I think I'm latching onto the sound because I keep waiting for Frank Oceans new album (WHERE IS IT FRANK?? YOU SAID JULY) and he has the same vibes in his music.
I've been spending a lot of my time on Code Academy recently because I feel like coding is an important thing to know how to do. I've obviously invested my website designing skills into creating the ultimate Matt Damon and Ben Affleck friendship site.
As you can see it's super high tech and really detailed. I was only 95% inspired by Mindy Kaling's show and 5% inspired by Gone Girl.
I've been listening to Someone New by Hozier (also this) on repeat for the past 24 hours because it reminds me of a day trip I took with a friend to Philly back in June. We're actually meeting up this week and having a Gilmore Girls marathon before volunteering for a day so I'm excited (mostly for Gilmore Girls, but ya win some ya lose some).
I might go to the TV Girl concert tonight but literally ALL OF MY FRIENDS are out of town so my Dad wants to come with me because he think it'll be a good bonding experience. I don't think he understands me when I try to describe how small the venue and how different it'll be from his previous concert experiences, but whatever ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ .
I watched Welcome to Me and I loved Kristen Wiig and I think more people need to appreciate it (hence the title of this post)
Asides from summer work for school and SAT prep nothing much has been happening.
I haven't posted in a month because I was in New York City for four weeks and I was trying to appreciate every moment instead of sitting down and taking up time reflecting on everything. I loved it and I miss it extremely, especially now that I'm back in the suburbs.
None of this music is out there or indie like "normal" but I just love them so much right now.
TV
Freaks and Geeks
while I was in NY there was a free freaks and geeks marathon at the Lincoln center theater to celebrate the release of Judd Apatow's new movie, Trainwreck. I went with friends and we stayed for the whole eight hours and I felt so much happiness radiating from me, it was exciting.
Gossip Girl
I was among the Waldorf's and van der Woodsen's of the world and you expected me to not cave to this show??????
Movies
Gone Girl
I have been completely fascinated by this movie for the past two weeks - I can't get over it, and I don't know why. I find myself going back to it again and again and watching clips from it and interviews about it. It's stuck in my head on loop.
The Sisterhood of the Night
I was super excited for this movie and was even contemplating driving 50 minutes to view it in one of the few theaters it was showing in when it first came out. So I was pleasantly surprised when I found it up on Netflix, but it just went downhill from there. I couldn't get into the movie and I felt as if it was too predictable and that the character personality choices were so obvious.
Trainwreck
I'm really excited to see this movie! Amy Schumer and Judd Apatow are both amazing and ugh I can't wait.
Other
Kinky Boots
The best show I've ever seen (from a girl who usually can't stand musicals)
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Rachel Antonoff Sample Sale!!!
Where I bought a designer shirt, met Tavi Gevinson, and cried because while I was smooshed with all those other people but it felt like everything was going to be OK.
If I made individual posts about each of these bands/albums it would be excessive because they're all dream pop, and I really don't want to be know as the girl-who-just-can't-get-over-dream-pop, so I put them all in this post. All of their albums are free downloads, so enjoy!
virgo indigo//Fog Lake
Ambient acoustic pop, like a slowed down more echoey Moldy Peaches. The transcendant vocals seem to speak directly of foggy summer days where nothing seems certain.
Although low production quality, the teenage authenticity shown through irrational lyrics is alluring and addicting. This lo-fi experimental dream pop band is a fragile listen.
TV Girl (fav band ever) has released two new tracks (Natalie Wood and Like We Planned)to promote their upcoming new album and I'm pumped. I'll actually be back in time from my summer program to go to their concert here in August, which I think is one of my most looked forward to concerts ever. I got into TV Girl when I first moved back to America, and was feeling isolated by a lot of small cultural things as well as people at school, and it was one of the first times that I really felt the community created by music.
Today I just wanted to post little reviews about a handful of movies and albums that I've consumed since the start of my summer break
White Bird in a Blizzard is a drama thriller starring Shailene Woodley - I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it on this blog before, but I recently re-watched it. The acting in general is poor and the plot/mystery is obvious except for the twist at the very end, overall leaving me really unsatisfied.
This is the Next Part of Your Dream by Ghost Noise is a pop goth album that I couldn't stop thinking about while watching White Bird in a Blizzard; the soundtrack of the movie plays a lot with the fact that the main character goes to goth clubs and so this album mirrors it nicely.
Girlhood is a movie I've wanted to watch since it came out in France, so when it went up on Netflix I was overjoyed. It follows a French-African girl who ends up dropping out of school and joining a gang, her confidence exploding while her family life deteriorates. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, and was even more excited by the fact that I hadn't lost my French and could still understand everything they were saying.
Laura Dekker, at age 14, departed to sail solo around the world. While her main goal was to see the world, she ended up also becoming the youngest person to ever sail around the globe alone. Filmed by Laura throughout her trip, Maidentrip shows you how anything can be possible.(wow that was not cheesy at all)
Rashida Jones (of Parks and Rec) produced/directed this documentary on the porn industry and the lives of amateur sex workers. Following the lives of several young woman, most who came into the porn industry right after turning 18, the startling life of porn actresses is revealed. Hot Girls Wanted showed me things about the industry I had been completely oblivious to (such as the overall success and popularity of porn) and helped to make me more aware of the extremities of the lives of porn "stars". I definitely enjoyed Hot Girls Wanted more than expected.
The description of this documentary ("Filmmaker Matt Wolf explores the origins of the modern-day "teenager" --
a demographic that didn't even exist until the mid-20th century.") interested me, but as I began to watch it I could feel myself dozing off. With no live interviews, Teenager is really a collection of old clips and commentaries. It felt very detached and I couldn't make it through the first 15 minutes.
Contra by Vampire Weekend is currently my go-to summer album. Its overflowing with upbeat themes of summer and I just can't seem to get enough of it, especially the track Horchata.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has the best theme song ever, and that is probably the #1 reason why I watched the whole season. While most of the time the storyline is predictable, it is funny and can help to relax/take your mind off of things.
Parks and Rec has also been drawing a lot of my attention lately as well - its mind numbing and blissful. I still feel stressed from finals even though they've been over for almost a week now, and I find that this helps to remove me from that worried mindset. I promised myself not to do summer work for the first week of break, which I know sounds ridiculous to some, but I honestly can't wait to get it over with.
Hope your final exams are going well and that you're enjoying the summer vacation if you're out already like me!
The high baby-doll voice of Nicole Dollanganger holds a sedative quality that will lull you to sleep accompanied by mature whispers of lost husbands, flowers, and memories. Her seemingly flawless and smooth voice carries you through Greta Gibson Forever, somehow erasing the world around you for the duration of the track. Highly reminiscent of Lana Del Rey, you'll find yourself nostalgic for memories that were never yours. Although only three songs off this album have been released, with more to come, they come together to form a unique and quality bedroom-pop sound. You're certain to fall in love (or fall asleep) with the calming dream pop creations of Nicole Dollanganger.
Genre: indie pop, dream pop, bedroom pop
Favorite Track: Lemonade
Self-labelled as Insolent Pop, this description deeply resonates with the blurred and hotheadedly amplified lyrics of Candids. As vocalizations push through accompanying the guitar, enunciation and meaning are abandoned along the way, only to be suddenly recaptured in the concluding song "Love". Lines such as "we'll sing along//for we know all the lyrics" create a welcoming sense of community, while others seem to boost self confidence ("you look fantastic"). The overall cheery and uplifting demeanor encourages the listener to think of light and easy carefree days, accentuating the impending arrival of summer. Based in Nantes, France, this indie pop-rock group will draw you in with their rhythmic sound and encourage you to crack a smile.
Mitski is a very simplistic indie rock artist, with gracefully honest lyrics that capture the teenage/young adult idyllic experience. Heartbreaking lyrics ("if your hands need to break more than trinkets in your room/you can lean on my arm/as you break my heart") will pull you in, as lines that remind you of fleeting moments encourage you to stay ("and I don't wanna go home yet/let me walk to the top of the big night sky"). Her sound feels safe, making you feel as if you're with a good friend and that it's OK to cry. In a strange way it also feels very much like a subdued, chilling version of the Vivian Girls; yet despite this "chill" it heavily reminds me of seemingly endless spring and summer nights, where school and winter are still far off thoughts.
I'm unabashed of how much comfort I've found in this album.
Its been two months since I've posted, which is mainly because of my extreme studying for APs (and school in general), the first of which (Art History) I had today! It went well and even though I have two more to take, they're both a lot less intimidating and feel really manageable. Today was also the last day of track so I will have so much more free time to write and read (and cry as I finish season 7 of Gilmore Girls).
I've been listening a lot to the student run radio at Oberlin, and I discovered Karen O while listening to it as I laid in bed with the spring morning sunlight streaming in. It felt right (and cheesy deal w it)
I loved this so much. Before watching, I had never heard of her, and now I can't stop thinking about her. Marina is a performance artist; she often turns to the public to interact with her in her different pieces, and the result is always incredibly daring and innovative.
The Sausage Video.
the musical masterpiece of our generation.
Hope you're doing okay in this time of stress and exams!
WHATEVERLAND is an album of heartbreak and love (but mostly heartbreak) that's expressed through an acoustic bedroom-pop sound. With quiet repetitions and rhymes they capture the muddled feeling of confusion one feels when being left behind, and the lost restlessness of being recently out of a relationship. My favorite track is constant, which is the only one off this record that has to do with falling in love/envisioning a future with someone. Its drenched in worn seaside nostalgia, shown in lyrics such as "in so much more than memory//I feel you standing next to me" and "and in this city by the sea//I've found a life that I can lead". Despite how depressed the songs meanings are they can also come off as gently upbeat positive songs, which I think is really nicely shown when they sing "that there are tangerine skies//awaiting our failing eyes". This Alaskan/Coloradan band is definitely worth the listen, and while not on Spotify their music is up for free download on Bandcamp!
I haven't written in a while which is stupid and I'm sorry, and this post is just a songs of the week so it's not even the best thing, but I promise I'll have more reviews soonish.
Be My Baby//The Ronettes
I watched Dirty Dancing for the first time this week, so this was an obvious choice. Watching it added to this summer feeling I've been craving which is weird because I used to always think fall/winter was my thing but now it just seems to be all about summer?
Invisible//Dandelion Hands
Dandelion Hands is the perfect depressing teenager band, who unfortunately just broke up and took their music off Spotify spurring the break of my heart. My favorite song by them is "if the sun has the strength to rise every morning why can't i get out of bed".
Every Little Step//Bobby Brown
We watched this video in history to satisfy my teachers nostalgic needs and then it get stuck in my head and now its my go to feel good song.
Put Your Number in my Phone//Ariel Pink
Nostalgic-seeming pop about succesfully? getting someones phone number
Jessica//Adam Green
"Jessica Simpson, where has your love gone, it's not in your music" - a clear classic
Here's the songs that have been helping me ring in the new year - they're mostly quiet and calm songs because that's what this break has been for me.
Werewolf//Fiona Apple
A song about love, so not really relatable for me, but Fiona Apples voice is so ugh.
She's Losing It//Belle and Sebastian
I wouldn't say this song has been stuck in my head, but I find myself singing the verses at weird times: right when I wake up, when I'm walking in the woods etc. The whole acceptance that she's going insane thing is actually a really soothing concept.
Sea, Swallow Me//Cocteau Twins
This song has been on a few of my playlists ever since I watched Palo Alto (along with the Soccer Field theme by Devonte Hynes), and it gives me a huge rush of something.
Hanging on the Telephone//Flowers Forever
I finally watched Electrick Children and I really loved it and this song is a constant throughout it and it fits so perfectly.
Snaggletooth//Vance Joy
A cheesy, obvious choice, but I really love his voice, and the fact that Riptide plays on the radio now has gotten his voice stuck in my head.
Hope your first weekend of the 2015 is going well!
While The Edge of Hell was released in 2012, and it doesn't look like John Crodian has put out any music since, I liked it so much I couldn't not put something on here about it.
Almost all the songs are acoustic, and the majority of the time it's only the guitar supporting the voice. But there are a few punk/rock songs (Neapolitan, Launchpad) where the guitar and bass are electric, and are accompanied by the drums.
What I really enjoy, what made me want to write this review, was the lyrics. They are the perfect suburban anthems for the college kid coming back home for break or the typical high school student. Here are a few of my favorite:
Great Jazz at an Affordable Price
When you ascend to higher plains of existence
Will you come visit me at state in the fall?
(this works so well in my mind because everybody seems to go to our state college (or other small colleges in the state) and very few seem to actually get out of the suburbs, and so the line of "when you ascend to higher plains of existence" is so idyllic to me because, in a way, that's my long term goal)
We Won't be the Youth of Today Tomorrow
Will you cry "youth is just a footnote, besides I swear I held my breath
And crossed my fingers in the corner while you all screamed 'true til death'"
But you'll remember how those words hit in the hardest ways,
(I think when we have a sucky adolescence we all want to believe that its not that important, but I think that it is important because these are some of the only years of our lives (at least until we retire) where we have a surplus of time to reflect on stuff, and so maybe youth isn't just a footnote like we all want to believe when it sucks)(the final line of this is so perfectly worded though because that's what words do they hit you and make you feel immobilized and awful)
See, we could have been in New York in '88, but where would that put us now?
40 something in a nowhere town
(Lines like this make me feel all heck yeah but then at the same time I'm like, what so whats going to keep me from being 40 something in a nowhere town after New York in 2017?)
The End of Rock Piano
And I'm ashamed of the effort I put in
To look like every other dope in this coffee shop
(This is just so true it hurts a little)
Launchpad
I'm gonna need a launch pad to get closer to you
(Sometimes people just seem so amazing yet so far away (mentally))
This was different that what I normally do but really cathartic to write so I hope it was somewhat okay for you,
